There is a time to be a girl

I am totally a girlie girl. I love putting on make up (which I don't do often enough), I love getting my hair done, I love getting dressed up in pretty gowns (which only has happened in stores, but still..) I love going to the spa, and I will jump at any chance to do hair, play with makeup and make another girl feel just as girlie as me. as much as I love being a girlie girl, there is also a time and place to roll in the dirt with the boys. I love camping, 4-wheeling, anything on water and anything to do with mud.. especially when there is a 4x4 involved. With that being said I present you with...

Nikki, me and the dune buggy (yes we put all of that mud on it)

This past weekend we found ourselves out enjoy the nice warmth of the sun and the dirt in our hair. We rented a rzr-s to see how they worked out, this is going to be our 'new baby'.

Bryce, Me and the rzr-s

We are in the process of buying one and wanted to make sure it fit all of our 'needs'. We love the damn thing. I was very sceptical at first like I am with everything but it was sooo much fun once we got going and cruising around. Most important is that not only could we keep up with the dune buggy we also beat it in speed!

We went out on Friday after work and just hit up a few areas. Sat we were up once again bright and early to make sure we got a good spot. By 11 o'clock Nikki and I were soaked head to toe in mud! We took out the dune buggy and put it to its best. It was kind of funny watching all the guys pass by the mud puddles and here are two (hot) girls cruising right through them and make HUGE waves!

We had our fun and went back to our 'base' we convinced the boys that is was fun and headed out with them too. The result..

Bryce, Same, Julian and Nikki

Nikki and Julian look so much dirtier than us because they hit a wicked mud puddle. It was just that, mud. we even had people stop and watch us as we hit the biggest puddle of all. We had to be really careful because the water flew up and over us that we couldn't see at all. Next time I will take out my nice camera and stay dry to get some good pics. There was no sparing of anything.

Over all it was a fun weekend. We came home muddy and let me tell you, I think I am still finding dirt in my ears, nose and eyes. It is yucky. oh and in case you want to know, I washed my hair 3 times to get out the mud.

Bryce and I

As of now I am back to being my girlie girl self. Any of you who want to feel free to join us on our little adventures, but consider yourself warned. Oh and we will have our new baby in the next month, I will post pick.. do you think Bryce will let me have a pink one???? (there was one out there that was completely pink, even with pink seats! I fell in love....)

There is a time to be a girl and there is a time to roll in the dirt with the boys...

Toilets and Phone

Ok here is my second vent on my blog. Maybe I will feel better when I am done. Toilets and phones don't mix. I don't want you talking to me when you are in the restroom nor will I answer my phone when I am in the restroom.

Please have the respect of other people when you are in the restroom and don't use your phone!! It is rude and inconsiderate, and I find it highly offensive. I don't want some stranger listening to me pee! Nor do I want to hear your phone conversations as you poo! (yes, this happened to me at work.. it makes me boil!)

If you are a offender of this subject... DON'T DO IT (anymore)!!!!

Any you wonder why phone are carriers of staphylococcus and syphilis.

p.s. in case you don't know me well, I have a 'stage fright' of public restrooms.

Thanks for listening

I have absolutely nothing to write at all! I cant believe it. Over the weekend we saw terminator and angels and demons. We also went shopping for our 'new baby'.. more on that when we have it in our hands. and tonight lots of gardening, mowing a lawn and a nice hot bubble bath to soak my aching body in.

Because I have nothing to write I saw this on a friends blog and thought I would fire away. Here we go...

If you read this blog I challenge you to do this on yours. What to do is count 1 -10 and name random things about you. I saw this on a friends blog and I thought this looked fun. You can pick any list of favorites that you want to list.
#1 you name 1 item, #2 you name 2 things, # 3 you name 3 items, and so forth.

#1- favorite movie - A League of Their Own

#2- favorite color - Pink, blue

#3- favorite bands - Royal bliss (a new one) Christina Aguilara (I know not a band) and depeche mode

#4- favorite foods - Pizza, pasta, salad and any fruit yum

#5- favorite animals - cats, dogs, birds, koala, Elephants

#6- favorite songs- 'Get out', 'faithfully', 'family portrait', 'white wedding', 'somebody'

#7- favorite restaurants- rusted sun, noodles and co, outback, tgi friday, applebees, tepenyaki, tereyaki grill

#8- favorite actors- John Travolta.. for all 8

#9- favorite places to go- moab baby!!! home, my aunts house, the ice cream shop, the mountains, any day spa that is legal, the beautiful world of imagination, weddings (I know I'm weird but the bride is always so beautiful!), my quiet peaceful corner

#10- favorite people- everyone who reads this...

thanks for enduring that.

Its official

yep that is right, no school. I am a drop out! just kidding. I am, however, taking the summer off. One of my classes is not offered during the summer and my elective, well music is not my personally preference, and there is too much work for that class in too little of time. The finances of this class is out the roof too. so I am going to wait til fall to take a calligraphy class instead. It's official! come fall, I will be non existent!

Weddings, food and early morning

Its the weekend and what a better way to start it off by posting on my blog! This last week was the first week that I got to sit at home and do NOTHING! It was great. Thursday night I crashed at 5:30 in the evening and did not wake up until 5 the next morning. I think I was coming down with something, or my body just needed to relax. That was a great sleep! Friday morning I had another wedding to do. I was kind of disappoint at first but I had a really good talk with the bride. She was extremely happy with the way things turned out. She is a super cute girl.

I have been doing alot of red heads lately. The last 2 girls had alot of hair and we had to hide alot of it. Jessica likes to talk and she is a person who cant keep still. I had to learn to move with her. It turned out great and both her and her mom were happy with how it turned out. Her dress was BEAUTIFUL too! (which she got at angel's (wedding) dresses)

Not only did I do the hair but her mom asked me to take some shots of her on her now husbands motorcycle. they did not have a photographer. As much as I tried to talk them into in, they were just not having it. It all started with the consult when her mom had me take a few shot of her in her dress. I am no photographer and they knew it but I felt like we got some good shots. She is a cute girl with lots of personality, oh did I mention I grew up down the street from her?? There is no way she is old enough to get married! That just mean I am getting old... haha! Over all the wedding was a huge success, I love being involved as much as I was with this one. I feel like I am accomplishing things. I am definitely not the greatest but I think I have some great ideas.

Congrats Jessica and Phill!!!!!!



Oh and I made a new recipe called baked penne, it is the basic but Bryce LOVED it! and it came out of my handy dandy book that I have been raving so much about. I hope you guys will like it as much as we did.

Oh and here is another mothers day photo. Grandma had a brunch at her place that she is residing and we were able to attend. It was a awesome brunch. Everyone in the home care center had their family there.. it was really nice.

Olin and darlene (white and plaid - bryce aunt and uncle) eric and Eileen (stripes and black - Bryce aunt and uncle) Debbie (Bryce's Mom - Purple) Grandma Violet (pink) Bryce and I

P.S. Rie I still do live in utah, riverton. I will email you next week on mon or tues so watch for it! :)

5 years ago

6 months ago, I found a new friend

6 months ago, I decided to go back to school

1 year ago my dreams of becoming a mom came crashing down

Chad, Cam (eron) and me, my nephews June 2007

2 years ago I got myself completely out of debt

2 years ago I was in such a severe depression I had to seek medical help (from a prescription I was taking)

over 3 years ago I had to stop going to school

Christmas 2006 (yes I had hair extentions, I miss them!)

4 years ago my dad was told he had 3 years left to live for cancer was taking over his body, 1 year ago he outlived the lifespan the doctors gave him.

Me and my dad at my sisters reception May 2006

4 years ago I found the love of my life

Sept 2005 (4 months after we started dating)

almost 5 years ago I got out of an abusive relationship and 'fought' back

Almost 5 years ago, I lost my dear precious brother (in law)

5 years ago I turned 21

My 21st Birthday, bittersweet

5 years ago I moved out my parents...

5 years ago my brother and his family willingly took me in and lead me along the path that I needed to be on

Rob (bro), Alisha and Joshua (their newest member)

Today, I don't know why, but I have been thinking about the last 5 years. In just a few short weeks it will be the 5 year anniversary that I decided to spread my wings and fly. It was UGLY! There was alot of hate, hurt feelings, and people feeling betrayed. This is where world war 3 had happened with my family. I wont go into too many details. I am extremely grateful for my brother and his family taking me in for the short 9 months I was with them. He really took a punch from my family for being so willing in helping me out.

I have tried to repair my relationship with my family, but it is a mile long list of things I have to give and not 1 single thing that they have to give. It has to be a give/take relationship. I appreciate those friends who were around me in the tough times. Sarah was there when my brother passed away and willingly step in by my side to befriend me, bring in home cooked meals, and held my hand when I moved out of my brothers. Tough job. Rie (I think you were the one who sparked this..) was there for me with the aftermath of my brothers death, she took care of me at school and kept her eye on the 'creep' in my life. I am excited you left a message on my blog! There are others who I could thank for helping me along the way, but the list goes on and on.

This is where it gets harsh..

I was told when I left my parents house that I would fail, I would fail in my life, school, finances, love and so on. There was more that was said, brutal hurtful words I never want to repeat. I look back on the last 5 years of laughs, cries, giggles, happiness, sadness, frustration, the fond moments and the not so fond moment. I want to scream that I have done it! I look back thinking I was so far under there was no help for me in finances. I thought I would never speak to my parents. I thought I was going to marry someone who treated me like the dirt he walked on. I thought I would never finish school. I thought I was a hopeless cause. I look at me now.. I am debt free (this was HUGE for me, I called my brother the minute I paid everything off!!!) I speak to my parents, it is very strained with my mom but still we 'talk'. I am back in school working to get my associates degree. I am in a very healthy relationship where I can speak my mind or say how i feeling and knowing that he will still love me and not hurt me. I realize that right now i can concur anything that I can put my mind to and if I think I cant I have someone who believes in me and is proud of me. My life is not perfect but by hell I can spend a lifetime trying.. and that is what I am going to do.

Bryce and I (Nikki and Julians reception)

I am looking forward to the next 5 years, to see where I have been and what I have done. There are going to be trials and it will be hard, but when I look back and see where I was and where I am now, it'll be worth it.

Mean mom and green things

Let me start by saying that first and foremost the title has nothing to do with mothers day and that I posted a NEW YUMMY RECIPE, this a must try!!!! Apple Pecan Pork Chops.


This last past weekend has found me busy, ok the last 3 weeks have found me MIA. I have been so busy that I cant even think straight. Tonight is the first night in a month that I have actually had nothing on my schedule, and it is a good thing. I needed a break!

Yesterday was mothers day so in lieu I thought I would post some pics! We spent the day here at the house and bryce's sister and brother in law and g-ma all came over to celebrate. We did go over to his Aunts house last night for dinner. For those of you who may not know I struggle with my family so we did not go over to my parents, however I did try to call my mom (after numerous hang ups by the grandkids... the little ones) I finally got ahold of her and we will be taking her out to dinner within the next week or so. This is a difficult situation for me so don't think too harshly of me :)

We got Debbie (Bryce's mom) some nice frames with some childhood pics in them. It does not sound like it was much but it was alot of work and the frames were not cheap. I hope she had a good mothers day! p.s. enlarge this first pic and you will be able to see our newly established garden. The ones on the right are our peas! I am so excited, they are getting soooo big!

Debbie, kickin' it back


Bryce, Debbie and Nikki. Can you tell they are related

I post this pic with some hesitancy, I am HUGE! and no I am not preggers. I am working on getting this down, especially for the ones who say me at my most trying time in my life I am sure you want to feel embarrassed for me. I will get healthy again and SOON, I am on a deadline. Plus I am next to the skinniest people in the world. Dang it!

OK now onto my title.. mean mom and green things. I had the chance on Thursday to go out to no mans land to take care of my sister (in law, you will soon learn to me even my in laws are still just my 'sisters' no in laws about it, don't get confused) who had surgery. I knew my brother was not able to take off work. He did stay with her at the hospital but that was just about it. I headed down Early on Thurs because I knew there was shopping to do. I picked up the kids and headed to the store. WOW that was an adventure. the good that came out of it was I was literally out of that store in 10 minutes. A list in my hand and giving each of the kids 4 things to grab, come back and put in the cart they were off for 4 more items. $100 later we were on our way home. I had all of the kids walk in one by one with tulips for their mom who I am sure was comatose with all the drugs she was on, I then sent her husband in with dinner after all the flowers had arrived. It was cute!
Friday I was all by myself, kids gone to school, hubby off to work and birds still asleep I awoke to work calling (long story, will explain later) I was out of bed and off to see how Jen was doing, still asleep. That entire day I spent doing 16 loads of laundry, making a chore list, having dinner prepped for the next few days for jen just to heat up and waiting for the kids to get home and scrapbooking in between loads. I hung all of jen's laundry but made the kids fold. I am learning..
The kids came home and eagerly (ok not eagerly, but chad was deaf for the day so hey there wasn't an argument! only because he couldn't speak) worked on their chores. Sweeping, mopping, washing, folding, cooking and such. Good times. We got nearly all the laundry done the house was in perfect shape! rooms clean, homework done. time to play.
I sat down with Chad. He was going to his first dance (for all those LDS members out there, now is the time to gasp!) He is 1 month shy of his 16th birthday but I was so excited that I didn't care! He got asked to a girls choice dance! I am sooooo excited for him. He didn't want to talk to me at first about this 'girl' but I told him he could talk to me about it or answer a million and one questions from his parents, he spilled the beans. I hope he enjoyed himself. I remember changing his butt.. oh and the embarrassing stories, I wish I could've been there when she picked him up.. oh the memories.
The kids all helped me with dinner, I had it completed before their dad got home. I did this because although I had Bryce helping me with my surgery I wish I had someone come in and make sure my hubby was fed, kids taken care of and house squeaky clean for me so that I didn't have to think of the aftermath of not getting out bed for 5 days. I decided to make fajitas, who doesn't like fajitas right??? well needless to say my cute 7 year old neice, lolly, had a different idea. She is known to not eat dinner and have cookies, ice cream and much more. Now was my turn to be super mom. I made her dinner, stuck in on the bar and she proceeded to pick out all onions, green peppers and everything else in there but the good old chicken. Nope not for me.. as soon as she was done eating the 'chicken.. ok it was 5 tid bits of chicken' she headed straight to the doughnut box. If she is still hungry for doughnuts then there is room for green things. It is green she doesn't like them, ok I can see onions but come on.. right? Am I being to harsh??? Well apparently she thought so, much to my amusement she did eat them but not after making sure I knew I was going to be a mean mom
Now before I spill the beans on too much more due to me being comatose off of (prescribed) medication I better close my post for the day. I hope that in and of itself is pure amusement, I love being an aunt but I love it when I get to play mom for day.
Oh and yes Jen was very well taken care of, I made sure she had goodies and treats and her favorite drinks, meds and naps and don't forget.. peaceful quiet time.. for her healing!

P.S. What would you suggest for a color scheme. I think white writing on black background is too harsh on the eyes, but so are the bight colors.. Ideas on colors that look best for a black background???

Apple Pecan Pork Chops

Ok here is my new recipe! This one is called Apple Pecan Pork chops although I am not a huge pecan fan so I used almonds instead. This was definitely a keeper. It had the taste of meat but also a sweet taste that will fix your craving for dessert. it is a 2 in 1!

4 Pork Chops
1 Medium Apple, sliced thin
1 Tbsp of butter
2 Tbsp of packed brown sugar
1/4 cup of pecans (or nuts of your choice

In a pan melt butter, when butter is hot add apples. Cook apple for 3 minutes, moved to the side of pan. Add pork chops, cook thoroughly on each side. When cooked intermix pork chops and apples, add brown sugar. Let it caramelize put on plate and sprinkle with nuts.

I did this exactly how the recipe said EXCEPT.. this is suppose to be less than a 20 minute meal start to finish but I let the carmelization go a bit longer. It tasted like Carmel apples, yum! The brown sugar was also able to soak into the pork chop a little bit more like a marinade so total it took me about 25 minutes start to finish. I would recommend this to anyone, especially if you are having people over for dinner, quick easy and yummy and no need for a side dish!

For all those ladies (and guys) who are calorie counting this recipe serves 4 and it is only a whopping 250 calories per serving, oh and it save great for left overs!

My best friend

Meet my best friend. Her name is Jessica Lyn Ryan. She is a bright red-headed girl who has millions of freckles and burns at the smallest amount of sun. Sounds like my kind of girl! we are mirror images. She hated the color pink but love purlpe and turquoise, this was the only place we differ.

taken when we were teenagers, not sure the year.

We grew up together, we live 5 houses apart. She has 2 brothers one is married and has 2 beautiful kids. If you could find her you would find me no matter what. We were inseparable. We went to different elementary schools, same Jr. high (for 1 year) and the same high school. We loved to take walks everyday and just talk and talk and talk and when we weren't talking we were writing 'jr high-ish' notes to each other. She was the youngest and got tease by her brother ALOT.
Growing up she always had better toys than me. we always played with 'quince' 'barbie dolls' and 'cabbage patch dolls'. we also played many games like 'gold fish' old maid' (which we would bend the corner of the old maids card so we wouldn't get stuck with it) monopoly, sorry and much more. I still have the card games from when we were little. We also loved to play out in the snow, sprinklers, climb trees, and much more
She is a talented artist, scrapbooker, and the most humble person you would ever meet in your entire life!

7th Grade 97-98

One fateful day I was called out of my room, I was only 15, by my mom. She had asked me to sit down. She had just gotten off the phone to the tragic news that my dear friend had a tumor. No big deal. I went to my room crying. I cried most of the night. They did surgery and indeed it was cancer. The lump they removed was the size of a golf ball and it had legs. She called it a spider, for her brother was terrified of spiders and this was her way of making light of the situation while he was so far away from home, on a mission. This was not the end for my friend. She endured many days of radiation and kemo. She fought with a smile on her face and always looked to the positive. I could not say the same for me. I was young and did not understand. Due to her radiation she was not able to be outside for long periods of time.

8th Grade 98-99

I would go an visit her, we would have many talks. She was healthy and doing well. Maybe she would pull through. We knew that her life was going to be short. I was trying to prepare myself as best as I could but I couldn't face losing my friend. A year after many exhausting days of doctors, hospitals and kemo/radiation we got the news that she was not winning her battle. My dear friend was dying and there was nothing I could do. I wanted it to be me.

9th Grad 99-00

The last 6 months were the hardest. Every day she grew weaker and weaker. She still managed to have a smile on her face the entire time even though she couldn't walk, paint, draw, or even get up out of bed. It hurt her just to move. These were the times I got to talk to her on spiritual levels.
On May 5th, 2001.. one month before I was due to graduate from high school I received my young women recognition (it is like and eagle scout for the girls in the LDS religion). I had asked Jessica to say the theme and she eagerly agreed. She was too sick to make it. Her dad had given a talk, even though she was sick and in bed and the time was precious to be with her. He had shown up and given his talk. I will never forget that sacrifice he made. It meant the world to me! He left soon after his talk and didn't stay for the rest. After all was said and done, everything was cleaned out, we all went home. It was late but I had to take some eclairs to my dear friend and her family. I went down to her house, it must've been around 10 and she was still up! I was estactic. She was not up for seeing anyone but her mom checked just in case. She wanted to see me!
I ran upstairs, she couldn't move and could barely talk. I spent only 5 or 10 minutes with her. I sat on her bed by her side. We talked about drawing and getting better. Before I left I remember asking her to promise me that she would get better. and she promised. I spent the next 2 hours talking to her mom and dad. Some spiritual things happened that night that I will never forget nor can I say what happened that night or there after. It is personal to both me and her family.
The next day she slipped peacefully into a coma and the following morning in the early hours she passed away peacefully at her parents home. The next days were all blurs. I found out at school and refused to come home. When I did come home I had 3 crying sisters, my mom and dad all waiting with open arms for me. The first thing we did was see her parents. I had to know her family was ok, as ok as one can get. They were peaceful and they understood gods will

May 7th marks the 8th year that I let my dear friend go. And with that I let part of myself go. I didn't know who I was, or where I belonged. Today I am still trying to find myself. I struggle with this on a daily basis. I appreciate her family for keeping in contact with me all these years and letting me a part of their life, even though I know it is extremely difficult for them.
I often wonder were she would be or what she would be doing. For now I can only dream. She visits me in my slumber. I love it! I will always miss my dear friend and until I can hug her again I will put a purple rose right where I last saw her. I wish you could all meet her, she changed my life!

This week has been extremely difficult for me and I apologizing for the sad blogs the last couple times, I will get over it, I promise. Right now I am off to bed hoping that I have good dreams of my dear friend I miss so much and tomorrow, I will visit her resting place and place 11 purple roses with 1 white one right in the middle. 'be your own kind of beautiful'.. and that is what she was!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

school is over!



well it is until May 18th, then I have a fun filled summer of... school :(

Camping in the clouds..

Bryce and Eddie Summer of 1991

Bryce and Eddie April 25th, 2009

Last November Bryce and I had been through some and emotional roller coaster. We had went on our last camping trip and winterized the trailer, his grandma had been sick and such. I was scheduled for surgery on a Thurs. Nikki his sister had surgery on Friday. His grandmother was not doing well and I was sicker than sick. This surgery was rough, worst than the same surgery I had 6 months prior. Bryce was trying to take care of me during the days in between being at his grandmothers down the street. Luckily it was just down the street if I need anything. I knew the end was coming close. By Sunday the family dog was sick, I had a rock in my stomach. Monday morning I called Bryce home, the dog was going. That morning we lost our family pet. After all the emotions of the day I told Bryce I wanted to see his grandma. I could barely get out of bed but we made it over. The next day she went back home with all of around her to say our goodbyes as she was welcome by others.

The next few days were blurs, I tried to go back to work and Bryce spent time with his family. I made it one day at work and I started having complications from the surgery. I was sent home for the next week. The day of the funeral came, we had many family and friends there to give their well wishes. One person is particular stood out. I was sick and didn't pay much attention to what was going on around me. After the services this person came up to both Bryce and I and introduce himself to me as 'Eddie'. Eddie was Bryce's childhood friend. We didn't know what had happened to him or where he was but there was always stories being told of the mischief that they both got into. I had seen many pics of the two of them together. This is where an old friendship continued and a new one started.

Last November we definitely had a bittersweet moment. I think Grandma had a hand in this one. She definitely knew what she was doing. Even today Bryce's aunt said today that and confirmed my thoughts. Bryce describes this as 'It's like time never passed, it has picked up where it was left off' I also received a new friend out of this, known as my 'twin'. It is like we have known each other our entire life. I remember being so nervous to meet Brittany (she was not able to attend the funeral) but now it is like she has been my friend my whole life.

Sam and Brittany April 2009

This last past weekend we were able to head out on our first camping trip. this was also bittersweet. Grandma was not physically with us but I knew she was still there is other ways, as I said I think she set this up. It rained, it snowed, but we still had an awesome time. We played games, roasted hot dogs and even made 'our dessert' for Eddie and Brittany over the fire. The meals were yummy, I got to spoil Apollo (I always do) and I still had time to get in a nap! I wouldn't ask for a better first camping trip of the season. I know there will be more..

Here are some pics from our first of many camping trips with them. Thanks you guys for such an enjoyable time!

Apollo (Brittany and Eddies dog)

The fire

Eddie and Apollo

Brittany driving the 4-wheeler.. you did awesome!

The clouds. If you look closely you will see the steam on the road

My Paul Bunion

Totally busted, diggin' in the dirt

So Sweet

Our happy ending!