Lab rat 111

Well, there isn't much to really blog about in thewinter. It kinda sucks that I have yet to take 1 picture in this new year. We don't do much around here besides watch movies, when I am not working. I hate this winter bog that seems to hang around for months on end. I really hate the 3 months after Christmas. Not because I love all of the holidays but because of the there-is-nothing-to-do months. So lately, sad to say, there is really nothing new to blog about around here. There has been one thing that I have been meaning to blog about but it hasn't seemed real so I haven't said much about it to anyone. Now is a better time than awkward silence around the blog.

For the last 6 years I have worked for a company, which shall remain nameless, in the same job. My job title was known as receptionist. ok I hate that term. I sound like the only thing I do is answer phones. My job was anything but just answering phones. ok, so I was a secretary. That term too I hate. The first part of  secretary is secret. that is a secretaries job. Keep things on the down low - or keep secrets. Yes, I had lots of things that I had to keep to myself or I would lose my job but when I hear secretary I think of a person who is keeping secrets about management. Dirty secrets. Embezzlement, affairs, bad bad secrets. That was not my job. Those are not the secrets I had. Far from it. I don't want to be tied to something that shouted negative. So maybe I was payroll. Ok that makes me sound like I am higher up, management. There were two sides of our payroll. I did the lesser part of it. I had no say in pay rate, raises, incentives, bonus. I just made sure everyone was doing what they were suppose to be doing at the time they were doing it. Someone else (management) just made sure the payroll company got the information to pay each employee.

So what was I? I wasn't Just a receptionist. I hated being called a secretary. I sounded like I made alot more money when I said payroll, yet I did all of those things that would describe each of those words. On my last review it asked me what my position was. My answer: Gopher. I go for anything that they ask. I did everything and anything they asked, and I got it done in the time they told me it needed to be done. Sounds ridiculous but it is the only thing I can describe my job. Gopher. So fitting. Last year we had an incident at one of our branches. It was extremely difficult for me to deal with. It happen on a Saturday morning. I found out that day and I cried the entire weekend. One of our employees took it upon himself to go into the office and kill one of our girls. He then drove hours away and took his own life. That day is the day that I was no longer a gopher. I became a hysterical mouse. I describe myself as that because when I was little my friend has a baby mouse. It started off playing in the cute little wheel running itself in the same spot. As it grew it because smarter and would try to find a way through the mazed tunnels that my friend had built up. Eventually I would go to my friends house to hear that the mouse had died. It had escaped while she was at school, it became bored and would find a way to get out of its cage, which would ultimately lead to its untimely deal by getting caught somewhere, usually the furnace.

At that point in my life I became that mouse. I was hysterically running up against the wall, hoping the faster I move my 4 legs the higher the chance I would have of escaping this horrific nightmare. I have said it before and I will say it again, this incident hit too close to home for reasons that I cant explain on this blog. It was a fight for me to get out of the job I was in. It was a fight to change what had happened. The wheel that I had been running on for over 5 years became too much, and I needed a change. At that point I became the hysterical mouse squeaking for a change, a change that i would not let go of, even if there wasn't room for a change. I went to the extreme of searching out new jobs. I was told as my current job to be patient. Patients runs thin. I was not blessed with patients. Nothing seem to fit and in January I think I hit my brick wall. It was now or never. It had been an uphill fight of horrible thoughts for 8 long, very long, months. Since January, they have had plans to move jobs around, but only small things change. It sucked but I knew the changes were coming. 5 weeks of me training other people from all sort of departments and branches the full change finally happened.

I am an accountant!

Bryce always said I was a sexy secretary but I think accountant sounds so much sexier. I never dreamed of being and accountant, as a matter of fact when they mentioned it in high school I cringed when they would say 'well you can be an accountant.'. Well here I am 10 years later and instead of cringing I stand proud. I sound smart and sophisticated, and IMPORTANT! I think this is as far as I will go in my career, but you never know. Maybe someone will see my potential and make me a manager. Me? In control? I laugh! I am already in control. and I am so. much. happier.