Here we are Saturday May 7 - 10 years ago is swirling through my mind. I cant help but think that what I was going at this exact moment 10 years ago I am doing now. except I am not in high school anymore - I am a grown up. 10 years ago someone lost a child - today a child just buried a parent. I want to say I am done with all of these feeling but I am sure they are not done with me.
Every year I make a post on my best friend. The more the years go by the harder it gets! I made a post of facebook that say I still think about her every day, when making a decision I always ask myself "what would Jessica say to me or what would her response be?" I still have thoughts of calling her - even though her parents don't live in the same house and neither do I. I guess it is habit that will probably never go away, even when I am 80 years old!
Since today marks 10 years I wanted to do something big for her. Some may not think that it is big but for me it is. My hair is everything to me. It defines who I am and what I do. Everyone always thinks my hair is fake because I 'baby' my hair and it gets so long. For her - hair was a way to reinvent her - ok maybe not but she was always changing her hair - long, short, highlighted or virgin. She always had something new going on with her luscious red locks. there came a point where she didn't have any hair - but she still looked amazing bald! I remember after she passed - I went to the viewing services. We were late as a family but her parents knew we were going to show up towards the end so we could have a moment alone. I didn't want to go in to the viewing room. I know this may sound harsh but my sisters were prying my fingers from the door jam and forcing me in. I don't regret it! They were doing what they thought was best for me. Her parent were in there along with her brothers - I remember her dad taking me in his arms and hugging me. We both walked over to Jessi where he let me see her beautiful dress and shoes. He also wanted me to see something that I had not seen before she passed since she was always laying down. In the back of her head she had this short hair that was kinky curly! Her locks were back! and they were baby fine. No matter how she looked her hair was amazing!
There are millions of children without hair from diseases or cancer. I had heard my sisters talking about donating their hair so I asked them if they would donate with me on Jessica's 10th year (this was back in January) so we did! It was very hard for me to chop off all of my locks but they will grow back. there is a child out there who needs this hair more than I do and if God gave me a talent of growing amazing hair then it is something small to give back. I will be sending in all 3 ponytails in Jessica's name.
I miss you Baby J every single day!
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1 comment:
Love it!!!
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