Simplify

I think life has gotten out of hand lately. I laid in bed last night thinking of the million things going on in my life, The negative that I have in my life at the moment. I had a long discussion with Bryce while laying there, more like thinking out loud. I keep telling myself that next week will be better when in fact I just get more frustrated. It is time to simplify.

Simplify and focus.

I love nothing more than curling up in a blanket with Bryce on the couch. Sometimes saying nothing at all, sometimes talking until we literally both fall asleep. My focus should be on us. Lately there has been alot of bad following me around. I have spent the last 6 month in a torture chamber, at least that is what I feel like. I complain everyday to Bryce and ask why things don't get better, why I am left so disappointed. I cant get over hurt feelings, I feel disappointed by everyone and everything. I cant let go of the small things, I am holding grudge and anger. This isn't like me! I try to tell myself that I will let it go, roll it off the back, kill with kindness of those who hurt me but it doesn't work. I get more frustrated and hear bad things they say about me: What I am doing or the lack of what I am doing. I am trying to please everyone. Simplify.

I need to focus on Bryce and Myself. Focus on the GOOD relationships I have in my life. I don't need the bad anymore, I don't need the negative energy around me. Is this what a breaking point feels like??? Focus.

I have deactivated our facebook account. I feel like I am in high school all over again and I hated high school. I hate the mean jabbing comments on there. Maybe I will go back soon but for right now it is just one step to get the negative out of my life. I want to be a better person.

There are a few things that will be changing in my life. Don't mistake quietness for anger. Sometimes I am just soaking everything in. If I am upset you will know. This is not me being upset. Sometimes it just helps to write it all down. Maybe in the future when I look back and read this post I will see how far I have come in life. I am still learning, we all are.

I am extremely grateful for Bryce being in my life. I am grateful for spending time with my sister lately. As much as we haven't gotten along in the past, it seems to be going smooth right now. I appreciate those who make an effort to be my friend, the ones who invite us over for game night , or go out to a movies 'just the girls', and I am extremely grateful for the nieces and nephews who call me and ask me to help them. Help them with prom dresses, graduation announcement, support on the upcoming competition, or just call me to say hi. THOSE are the things I need to focus on....