#12

well today has been a reflective day and it is only noon! I came home today from spending the night with my SIL and was in bed cuddling with Bryce. While I was laying there listening to his soft snores I couldn't help but let my mind wander. Sometimes that is a great thing. I have this great big tree just west of our window. The weather is changing, the wind is blowing, and a snow storm is expected to hit us a soon. As I was looking at this tree I began to reflect on this past year. I began to see myself in this tree. The seasons are changing and so is life. I have had to decided to make a few changes in my life recently to get back to the happy person I once was. I was letting things get to me. So I told myself that with the seasons changing so would I. I haven't voiced this to anyone but Bryce. I was thinking back to where I was a month ago, 3 months ago, 6 months ago and even a year ago. I am that tree! When I was born I was this beautiful tree with a few green leaves. as I learned to walk and talk, the leaves on MY tree were changing. They were bright and bold and I am sure everyone love to see me glow as my life season changed... just like my tree outside. Then that became old and the boldness and bright colors wore off. Being so young, I don't remember but I'm sure I felt bare and cold. skip a few years ahead... I am a child trying to figure out who I am and where I belong in the world. I was green again, growing, getting stronger, and I have more leaves. I am warming up to my surroundings, I am in 6th grade finding myself. My leaves are getting bold, strong, bright and they stand out.... then BAM! I hit Jr. high school and I lose myself once again. My life is cold and bare and I have to kick into survival mode, I have to learn to adapted. This continues through my life. Through high school, through the adult-but-I'm-still-a-teen-phase, through relationships, through work, through all of the different aspects of my life. As I get older and go through the seasons changing I get bigger and stronger with more leaves and finer details of aging but it is a beautiful process. We cant forget either that there are birds who try to wiggle their way into your beauty and may poop on you, but is that what you want?? Going through life letting something so small crap on what potential we can all be??? 6 months ago I was that tree. Showing another sign of aging, letting the wind rip through my bare branches wondering if I was going to make it or be broken in the process. The sun came out, I started to get my green back - not standing out, trying to figure out what to do from there. Today I am that bright bold tree again. I show lots of color: yellows, orange and reds. This is something I yearn for - even when I have it. I am sure the wind will torment me and I will loose my leaves. For now I will keep telling myself: 'The seasons are changing and so am I.'

Today I am grateful for this bright, bold beautiful tree that was put in our backyard many many many years ago to teach me this one lesson I learned today. I am grateful I am a tree.