So it has been a while. Is anyone still out there? Does anyone still read this? Not that there is much to read. The last time I posted was my reunion of 2013. The 2014 reunion has since come and gone. Things have happened, stuff changed. The only excuse I have is that over the past year I have lost 100% interest in everything that I once loved. I was depleted... much like this blog.
So how did it become like this? Well I thought it was the issues of almost losing my dad. Add on top of that gutting and putting back together a house in the middle of that. There was no time to just deal. after about 6 months I chalked it up to just getting older. I mean, inst this what your 30's bring? Tired and achy? Lets not mention the headaches, dizziness, balance issue, weight loss, nausea, and the memory. Oh memory! How I miss you. I work too much. I am in my 30's and I work to much. I am getting older and that means being more tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally... I was drained. The summer came and went. All my goals and desires went out the window with them. I barely made it to our reunion. I struggled to be that fun loving aunt that did everything with the kids. I just couldn't do it, but I forced myself to do it even thought it drained every last ounce of energy I had. Our last night there, I got super sick. I had no idea how I was going to pack and drive home, let alone get out of bed. It was awful. It would taint my memory of the past 8 days that I tried so hard to make happy and fun.
As I am sulking in misery, I started going back to my daily food journal of what I had been eating. it all came down to dairy. I did not need another food allergy in this house. Then again, I could not go on living with all the horrible things I had experienced for nearly a year. I went off of dairy. Cut it all out. It was hard. food just doesnt taste the same. it sucked but I felt better for 3 small weeks. not great but better. 3 weeks later I started to feel yucky again. Then came our family labor day weekend retreat. Again I got super sick. Camping wasn't appealing to me anymore. I didn't want to be out on the wave runners. I was counting down the hours until bed time, because lets face it, the only time I didn't feel the need to puke was when I was sleeping. The last night there, I was dreading a nurf gun war and a snipe hunt. I couldn't even keep my pants on... but I could lose some weight so it was fine. I found myself crying pity in our trailer. I had had enough! I was finished! I smacked so hard into that brick wall I couldn't see straight. It was time to be done with this. to figure out what was going on. as soon as I could I scheduled an appt with a dr. A new one. One that knew how it all started.
3 weeks. I had to wait 3 agonizing weeks to find out the results. While I was there we went through several test. Anxiety, depression, vertigo, rock unbalance. He thought there was a good chance that it was vertigo but wanted to do some blood work. How the crap do you fix vertigo!!!??!?! for once I had this overwhelming feeling that I didn't want it to be that. 3 weeks... that is what it took to get my blood work back. it took everything in me to keep from calling the doctors office daily. What was the results???
DEPLETION. i have no b12 or folic acid in my system. Let me first say that when I had the blood work done I had was taking a prenatal. B12 causes a whole slew of problem... including anemia (which I had horribly) stomach lining damage (which they believe I have), heart problems (none yet) and the symptoms... well I just listed 90% o them above. My body refuses to absorb any b12 or folic acid in foods or an oral vitamin. How does this happen?
I have just finished up my weekly shots and now I go to monthly shots. My outcome right now is for the next year with bloodwook done every 2-3 months to see how my body is handling it. I am nervous. By day 6 I am feeling the lag of the shot no longer in my system, how am I suppose to let it draw out for a month? this past month and a half has been amazing. the migraines are now headaches but they are not daily.... The nausea is gone for the most part. dizziness, gone. Tired and fatigue... well it is 90% gone. weight loss is still there but again, I could lose some more. My first week on the shot, I got more done in that week than I had in the past 11 months. I feel like myself again. I am finding the things I once loved. except dairy... it still makes me sicker than sick. So here I am... hoping to get back to the blogging world. because seriously, I have missed it. Hopefully there is someone out there that is still interested in reading what I have to say.
