So it has been a while. Is anyone still out there? Does anyone still read this? Not that there is much to read. The last time I posted was my reunion of 2013. The 2014 reunion has since come and gone. Things have happened, stuff changed. The only excuse I have is that over the past year I have lost 100% interest in everything that I once loved. I was depleted... much like this blog.
So how did it become like this? Well I thought it was the issues of almost losing my dad. Add on top of that gutting and putting back together a house in the middle of that. There was no time to just deal. after about 6 months I chalked it up to just getting older. I mean, inst this what your 30's bring? Tired and achy? Lets not mention the headaches, dizziness, balance issue, weight loss, nausea, and the memory. Oh memory! How I miss you. I work too much. I am in my 30's and I work to much. I am getting older and that means being more tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally... I was drained. The summer came and went. All my goals and desires went out the window with them. I barely made it to our reunion. I struggled to be that fun loving aunt that did everything with the kids. I just couldn't do it, but I forced myself to do it even thought it drained every last ounce of energy I had. Our last night there, I got super sick. I had no idea how I was going to pack and drive home, let alone get out of bed. It was awful. It would taint my memory of the past 8 days that I tried so hard to make happy and fun.
As I am sulking in misery, I started going back to my daily food journal of what I had been eating. it all came down to dairy. I did not need another food allergy in this house. Then again, I could not go on living with all the horrible things I had experienced for nearly a year. I went off of dairy. Cut it all out. It was hard. food just doesnt taste the same. it sucked but I felt better for 3 small weeks. not great but better. 3 weeks later I started to feel yucky again. Then came our family labor day weekend retreat. Again I got super sick. Camping wasn't appealing to me anymore. I didn't want to be out on the wave runners. I was counting down the hours until bed time, because lets face it, the only time I didn't feel the need to puke was when I was sleeping. The last night there, I was dreading a nurf gun war and a snipe hunt. I couldn't even keep my pants on... but I could lose some weight so it was fine. I found myself crying pity in our trailer. I had had enough! I was finished! I smacked so hard into that brick wall I couldn't see straight. It was time to be done with this. to figure out what was going on. as soon as I could I scheduled an appt with a dr. A new one. One that knew how it all started.
3 weeks. I had to wait 3 agonizing weeks to find out the results. While I was there we went through several test. Anxiety, depression, vertigo, rock unbalance. He thought there was a good chance that it was vertigo but wanted to do some blood work. How the crap do you fix vertigo!!!??!?! for once I had this overwhelming feeling that I didn't want it to be that. 3 weeks... that is what it took to get my blood work back. it took everything in me to keep from calling the doctors office daily. What was the results???
DEPLETION. i have no b12 or folic acid in my system. Let me first say that when I had the blood work done I had was taking a prenatal. B12 causes a whole slew of problem... including anemia (which I had horribly) stomach lining damage (which they believe I have), heart problems (none yet) and the symptoms... well I just listed 90% o them above. My body refuses to absorb any b12 or folic acid in foods or an oral vitamin. How does this happen?
I have just finished up my weekly shots and now I go to monthly shots. My outcome right now is for the next year with bloodwook done every 2-3 months to see how my body is handling it. I am nervous. By day 6 I am feeling the lag of the shot no longer in my system, how am I suppose to let it draw out for a month? this past month and a half has been amazing. the migraines are now headaches but they are not daily.... The nausea is gone for the most part. dizziness, gone. Tired and fatigue... well it is 90% gone. weight loss is still there but again, I could lose some more. My first week on the shot, I got more done in that week than I had in the past 11 months. I feel like myself again. I am finding the things I once loved. except dairy... it still makes me sicker than sick. So here I am... hoping to get back to the blogging world. because seriously, I have missed it. Hopefully there is someone out there that is still interested in reading what I have to say.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
W reunion Part 2
Well this one has been a long time coming. Before I get started let me update on my lat post. I know that was all very scary to read. It was very scary to write. To admit. I feel like I was holed up for 2 months before writing that. I hadn't told Bryce how I was feeling or what I was going through. He knew what was going on but I spared him the hot mess I had in the closet. Not long after that post I crashed. there was that brick wall I had become familiar with. I was sick and sore and upset and couldn't get over myself. for the first time every I had exhaustion. It has taken me over two weeks to start to feel back to normal. I felt better after that post but felt more myself after I told Bryce what I was really feeling. For now my dad is doing better. We took him back to the doctor (he is beginning to hate going to all these appts) and his medications were severely messed up. He felt good enough to come to my house the Saturday before Christmas and hand out while my mom and I did Christmas goodies. He has many many many appts ahead of him but hopefully he is on the road to recovery. He is still not where he was months ago but he is getting there.
So lets get back to my reunions. I left off on the forest fairies... the kids were very enthusiastic about this magical fairy that leaves them all sorts of things. (we made sure we had a variety of things for them from smore bags to stimulating activities and games) Saturday night while everyone was settling down, the kids got to work on their fairy bags. I think they were more enthusiastic then I expected. as soon as they dried we went out into the night to hang them up.
Sunday: Sunday we woke up bright and early. I think they kids were a bit disappointed that the fairies had not come in the middle of the night. Bryce and I decided to take the rzr out for a ride. While we were out we kept hearing this clicking but couldn't figure out where it was coming from. We continued to explore different parts of Island park but mother nature had her way and started raining on us. Like big drops, stinging kind of rain. So we headed back to the cabin for dinner. After dinner the kids were begging Bryce to take them out for a ride. He wasn't gone more then 5 minutes when he came back and the clicking was bad. After going through the entire rzr, we see that the back passenger tire in not straight. We went to take the tire off and sure enough we are missing 3 studs and lug nuts. The rim was completely worn where the studs were suppose to be. Once we took off the tire, we learned that they whole hub was worn and of no use. My family being LDS would frown on us spending money on Sunday. It was 5:45 and the closest store was over an hour away (one way) so I called down to the local rental shop. Luck would have it that they had ordered a hub the week prior for another vacationer that never came to pick it up. we had 7 minutes to drive the 5 miles to pick it up. On top of that, we had purchased 2 extra studs prior to our trip just in case that held us over until we could find someone else who carried more. Right there in the driveway, Bryce and my dad started going to work on the rzr.
Monday:
Monday we decided that we did not want to take the chance of running on two studs. Our rim was pretty messed up and the two studs really didn't stay into place well. Bryce also wanted to go do some more shopping at the army surplus store in Idaho Falls. so we make the hour and half trip (on way) back to IF to get the parts, eat lunch and go to the army surplus store. While we were gone, the rest of my family (except my dad and SIL and baby S) decided that they wanted to go to bear world. I must admit that I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't go with them. We made it back mid afternoon and finished replacing the studs. All in good timing of the daily occurrence of early evening rain.
Tuesday:
We started off by teaching T how to work a 4 wheeler. I think he was super excited, in his teenager - I'm too cool way (ok, he really doesn't have that attitude. He probably jumped through the roof 20 times). We agreed that he was the only 'kid' to be able to drive the 4 wheeler since he was over the restrictive age of 16. After riding around for 30 minutes with him on the 4 wheeler we let him go on his own - with us in the lead on the rzr. I was really surprised that he kept up with us. His eyes lit up every time we told my parents we 'were going riding'.
Wednesday:
We took a break from the toys and headed down to the river. A few hours in the not so warm water did us good. We of course had to get out a little early due to the early evening lightening storms (did I mention that they were lightening storms. Seriously - they were killer storms and amazing to watch from the huge deck and the all windowed wall) At the end of tubing my dad took all of us in the the country store for ice cream. Even baby S - who was really not ready to try it - got ice cream. Everyone had finished eating ice cream and was piling into the car but B. She mustve been having way to much fun playing so her mom and I stayed back and extra few minutes to help her eat it. I wish I would have got it on video but didn't - she experienced brain freeze for the first time and it was hilarious!
Thursday: More riding and more tubing. There is never too much riding or tubing
Friday:
Friday was the day all of us split up. My brother and his family took a time out to spend time together - just them without the distraction of the rest of us. Part of my family went to Yellowstone. Some stayed behind for some piece and quiet. Bryce and I headed out to st Anthony's sand dunes. I don't think he could have enough time there.
Saturday:
Our week was coming to an end. Today was the day that we planned this whole trip around. We spent the morning cleaning up and getting ready for my dads family to come up for a day reunion. We had a bbq, candy launch, and auction. This one was one of the biggest ones we have had in a while. It was good to see all of our relatives and to catch up. Since it was cool up there (a cool 75 degrees the entire time we were there... jealous???) most took off by 3 PM. Tonight was our last chance to do a few more runs on the river and hope that the nightly storms doesn't hit. (it didn't!)
Sunday:
There was just enough time to eat breakfast and pack up and leave. It makes me sad to leave this place. My heart truly belongs there. This is a place that I will spend the rest of my life longing for. I don't think I could ever have enough time up there. This year we created a ton of lasting memories that I will never forget.
Tubing down the river with my SIL talking about random things and making the kids pull us to the side of the river so we didn't have to get up.
Outlasting the kids on the river. Both of us saying 'take us up again!' even when all the kids were done.
Puzzles!
Games!! Pirate bluff was a hit!
Sitting on the deck with the nightly storms
Cousin late night while all the adults (except Bryce, Ruth and I) went to the playhouse to see my grandma's favorite musical - fidler on the roof
Teaching the kids a lesson that when they don't behave, the fairies get scared away... yep they didn't come one day!
Smore's!
rzr riding (even my dad went out)
forest fairies
Getting along with my oldest sister. That has ever happened.
Sweet baby S. I cannot have enough of that girl. It was just great to have my brothers family there.
Teaching T how to drive a 4 wheeler.
Seeing my grandpa's cabin again
Almost rolling the rzr... seriously, I almost killed Bryce. it was very scary when he drove off a 6 foot cliff
Breakfast in the trees for the kids and omelets for the adults
Pinata
Home made water guns
and the best thing ever invented: the ice maker. I love that place just for that!
Stay tuned for bloopers!!!!
So lets get back to my reunions. I left off on the forest fairies... the kids were very enthusiastic about this magical fairy that leaves them all sorts of things. (we made sure we had a variety of things for them from smore bags to stimulating activities and games) Saturday night while everyone was settling down, the kids got to work on their fairy bags. I think they were more enthusiastic then I expected. as soon as they dried we went out into the night to hang them up.
Sunday: Sunday we woke up bright and early. I think they kids were a bit disappointed that the fairies had not come in the middle of the night. Bryce and I decided to take the rzr out for a ride. While we were out we kept hearing this clicking but couldn't figure out where it was coming from. We continued to explore different parts of Island park but mother nature had her way and started raining on us. Like big drops, stinging kind of rain. So we headed back to the cabin for dinner. After dinner the kids were begging Bryce to take them out for a ride. He wasn't gone more then 5 minutes when he came back and the clicking was bad. After going through the entire rzr, we see that the back passenger tire in not straight. We went to take the tire off and sure enough we are missing 3 studs and lug nuts. The rim was completely worn where the studs were suppose to be. Once we took off the tire, we learned that they whole hub was worn and of no use. My family being LDS would frown on us spending money on Sunday. It was 5:45 and the closest store was over an hour away (one way) so I called down to the local rental shop. Luck would have it that they had ordered a hub the week prior for another vacationer that never came to pick it up. we had 7 minutes to drive the 5 miles to pick it up. On top of that, we had purchased 2 extra studs prior to our trip just in case that held us over until we could find someone else who carried more. Right there in the driveway, Bryce and my dad started going to work on the rzr.
Monday:
Monday we decided that we did not want to take the chance of running on two studs. Our rim was pretty messed up and the two studs really didn't stay into place well. Bryce also wanted to go do some more shopping at the army surplus store in Idaho Falls. so we make the hour and half trip (on way) back to IF to get the parts, eat lunch and go to the army surplus store. While we were gone, the rest of my family (except my dad and SIL and baby S) decided that they wanted to go to bear world. I must admit that I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't go with them. We made it back mid afternoon and finished replacing the studs. All in good timing of the daily occurrence of early evening rain.
Tuesday:
We started off by teaching T how to work a 4 wheeler. I think he was super excited, in his teenager - I'm too cool way (ok, he really doesn't have that attitude. He probably jumped through the roof 20 times). We agreed that he was the only 'kid' to be able to drive the 4 wheeler since he was over the restrictive age of 16. After riding around for 30 minutes with him on the 4 wheeler we let him go on his own - with us in the lead on the rzr. I was really surprised that he kept up with us. His eyes lit up every time we told my parents we 'were going riding'.
Wednesday:
We took a break from the toys and headed down to the river. A few hours in the not so warm water did us good. We of course had to get out a little early due to the early evening lightening storms (did I mention that they were lightening storms. Seriously - they were killer storms and amazing to watch from the huge deck and the all windowed wall) At the end of tubing my dad took all of us in the the country store for ice cream. Even baby S - who was really not ready to try it - got ice cream. Everyone had finished eating ice cream and was piling into the car but B. She mustve been having way to much fun playing so her mom and I stayed back and extra few minutes to help her eat it. I wish I would have got it on video but didn't - she experienced brain freeze for the first time and it was hilarious!
Thursday: More riding and more tubing. There is never too much riding or tubing
Friday:
Friday was the day all of us split up. My brother and his family took a time out to spend time together - just them without the distraction of the rest of us. Part of my family went to Yellowstone. Some stayed behind for some piece and quiet. Bryce and I headed out to st Anthony's sand dunes. I don't think he could have enough time there.
Saturday:
Our week was coming to an end. Today was the day that we planned this whole trip around. We spent the morning cleaning up and getting ready for my dads family to come up for a day reunion. We had a bbq, candy launch, and auction. This one was one of the biggest ones we have had in a while. It was good to see all of our relatives and to catch up. Since it was cool up there (a cool 75 degrees the entire time we were there... jealous???) most took off by 3 PM. Tonight was our last chance to do a few more runs on the river and hope that the nightly storms doesn't hit. (it didn't!)
Sunday:
There was just enough time to eat breakfast and pack up and leave. It makes me sad to leave this place. My heart truly belongs there. This is a place that I will spend the rest of my life longing for. I don't think I could ever have enough time up there. This year we created a ton of lasting memories that I will never forget.
Tubing down the river with my SIL talking about random things and making the kids pull us to the side of the river so we didn't have to get up.
Outlasting the kids on the river. Both of us saying 'take us up again!' even when all the kids were done.
Puzzles!
Games!! Pirate bluff was a hit!
Sitting on the deck with the nightly storms
Cousin late night while all the adults (except Bryce, Ruth and I) went to the playhouse to see my grandma's favorite musical - fidler on the roof
Teaching the kids a lesson that when they don't behave, the fairies get scared away... yep they didn't come one day!
Smore's!
rzr riding (even my dad went out)
forest fairies
Getting along with my oldest sister. That has ever happened.
Sweet baby S. I cannot have enough of that girl. It was just great to have my brothers family there.
Teaching T how to drive a 4 wheeler.
Seeing my grandpa's cabin again
Almost rolling the rzr... seriously, I almost killed Bryce. it was very scary when he drove off a 6 foot cliff
Breakfast in the trees for the kids and omelets for the adults
Pinata
Home made water guns
and the best thing ever invented: the ice maker. I love that place just for that!
Stay tuned for bloopers!!!!
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| Ice cream at the parlor |
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| Breakfast in the trees |
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| Puzzles |
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| water gun war |
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| Hitching a ride to the tube drop off (no one was harmed in the making) |
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| Crowded Armada |
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| Yep, no kids with seat belts. There was only 15 of us crammed in there |
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| my favorite pics - "Hey, I got your shoe!!!!' |
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| Fairy bags |
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| Breakfast in the trees |
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| One of the things the forest fairies left the kids was an egg carton treasure hunt. The insides were painted different colors and they had to find ribbon hidden all around the neighborhood to find the treasures. There was a big treasure at the end fills with games and family fun. |
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| yep, a ribbon in the hitch! |
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| it took the kids forever to find this one. They saw the ribbon but could figure out that the treasure was in the hot tub! |
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| B found the last big treasure |
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| Pinata |
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| smores - yes my brother is wearing a towel and yes he is wearing soemthing underneath it. |
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| The woman I look up to in life - my aunt Joyce |
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| Bear world |
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| He was trying to eat her camera |
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| My sisters first time on a 4-wheeler |
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| Boys being boys |
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| Candy launch |
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| My dad's brother Bruce |
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| My aunt Toni |
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| My uncle dean (my dads baby brother) |
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| I love this pic! |
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| They took off before I could get a pic. Bryce taking my dad out for a spin |
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| She is such a cheeser |
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| Smokey |
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| my SIL taking a pic of me cooking for the bbq |
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| It is so much easier when people dont fight you for a pic |
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